What can we do to improve our children’s academic success? Play with them!

Sergio Pellis, a researcher at the University of Lethbridge in Alberta, Canada says  "The experience of play changes the connections of the neurons at the front end of your brain, and without play experience, those neurons aren't changed," Those changes in the prefrontal cortex help wire the brain regulate emotions, problem solve and making plans. So, according to Pellis, “Play is what prepares a young brain for life, love, and even schoolwork...the skills associated with play ultimately lead to better grades.”

​Playing with our children can also strengthen family bonds. “Spending quality family time together strengthens family bonds and provides each family member with a sense of belonging,” says Shannon Cromwell, M.A. Extension Assistant Professor, Family & Consumer Sciences at Utah State University. “When it comes to children, one of the most important things you can do to positively influence their development is spend time with them," says allforkids.org.

With all the research being done on the importance of playing with our children, let’s make it a point to have just a little more fun with them.

Grandparents serve many important roles in the lives of children and since roughly three-quarters of parents will become grandparents, it's important to examine the role grandparents play in the family. Grandparents are invaluable in raising their grandchildren. Increasingly, grandparents find themselves providing part-time care for their grandchildren and even full legal custody. As a result, they help teach life skills such as cooking, cleaning, gardening and repairs that help build the character of their grandchildren. Knowing family history, which is often passed down by grandparents, is also important to the emotional development of grandchildren. In a study from Emory University, researchers measured children’s knowledge about their family history and found that the more that children knew about their families, the higher their self-esteem and sense of control over their lives. Sara Duke is a psychologist who specializes in children with learning disabilities and further explains that, “The ones who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges.” Her husband, Dr. Marshall Duke - a prominent psychologist at Emory University in Atlanta said, “Children who have the most self-confidence have a strong ‘intergenerational self.’ They know they belong to something bigger than themselves.” Even if one or more of the grandparents of a family may have passed, we can still honor their legacy by telling family stories.  it's important to remember them and their rich history.

It's important that we foster the grandparent-grandchild relationship even into adulthood. Sara M. Moorman, an assistant professor in the Department of Sociology and the Institute on Aging at Boston College explains, "We found that an emotionally close grandparent-adult grandchild relationship was associated with fewer symptoms of depression for both generations. The greater emotional support grandparents and adult grandchildren received from one another, the better their psychological health."

When distance is a factor, letters, phone calls, and video chats can help build the grandparent-grandchild relationship. Building the love and friendship between the generations has significant benefits to both generations.

“A grandparent is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher, and a little bit best friend.” -- Unknown

What's the first thing our children hear from us in the morning? Do they feel greeted with cheer and optimism, or do they feel hurried along to get to school on time? When our children get home from school do we tell them we missed them, or do we chastise them for getting dirty at recess?  What's the last thing our children hear from us at the end of the day?

If we forget to praise our children for the good we see them do, we may find that the only feedback they get from us is when something needs to be fixed. Children and adolescents interpret this kind of feedback as something is wrong with them. They then internalize these negative labels and begin to see themselves as "not good enough."  

​None of us is a perfect parent. Sometimes we might get upset or yell. Sometimes we are going to be rushed, and sometimes we are going to let our frustration show. But, according to Affective Neuroscientist, Jaak Panksepp, there is a way to make up for the times when we're not on our best parenting behavior. Panksepp says there are 3 key times during the day that have the biggest impact on children and if we can have positive interactions during these times, it will have a substantial impact on their emotional well-being.
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The 9 most important minutes of a child's day are:

• the first 3 minutes of their day-right after they wake up
• the 3 minutes after they come home from daycare or school
• the last 3 minutes of the day–right before they go to bed.

Having meaningful conversations with our children during these times and giving specific praise not only helps our children feel loved, but it also lays the foundation for what they think about themselves.

"Speak to your children as if they are the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical humans on earth, for what they believe is what they will become."- Brooke Hampton